in a current post, adam wrote about the problems with trying to dialogue about something as controversial as homosexuality.
what has ensued in the strain of comments proves his point - instead of trying to spend some time in the gray area of discussion, everyone jumps to his or her own set-in-stone opinion. people are more worried about "getting it right" than they are about actually listening to each other. it's sort of like playing the card game "war" - each person flips the next card in their deck of facts/Biblical interpretations/absolute opinions until they have the upper hand. in the card game, you don't have to think; the flipping of the cards asks nothing of you, and you ask nothing of it...so long as your card is of higher value. and for as long as you have a stack of cards in your hand - a stack of familiar ammunition - you are still in the game. you just keep firing away at an opponent without having to think. you might as well be playing against a computer or some statistical simulation. there is no need for your opponent to be human.
when dialogue is this sort of aimless battle of facts (or opinions stated as facts), it is rather dehumanizing. challenging fact by citing other fact, there is no reason to recognize your opponent as anything but their own set of opinions. people lose their identity and become known simply by their views on the topic - we become faceless pawns of debate.
the thing about dialogue is that it's not about winning. i'll repeat that: learning. both sides of this issue (and others like it) tend to put forth absolutist claims, hoping that somehow the other side will be persuaded by a brilliantly worded personal opinion. we all cite God and the Bible. we all pull from our arsenal of tried-and-true arguments and factoids. we make informed statement after informed statement...
but what if, instead of statements, we offered up questions? what if there were more questions asked than attempted answers given? conversation would be a different thing if we prefaced more thoughts with "what if" instead of "well, I believe." what if we were willing to feel secure with ourselves and with our faith without trying to solve everything once and for all? the thing about God is that he is shrouded in mystery. the God we know in Christ is a salvific one, but it is by God's grace alone that it is all right if we don't have all the answers - moreover, it is all right if we don't ever "get it right." that's what grace is all about. our purpose on this earth is not to try to figure out God. our purpose on this earth is to model Christian love for both our friends and enemies. shouldn't we begin by trying to build community within the body of faith instead of tearing each other down?
i think that, really, we are all just scared that we might not be as sure of life as we once thought we were...and we're scared that uncertainty might destroy us...
well said, melissa.
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