A Clean Apartment

There's something about that title that necessarily reminds me of Ernest Hemmingway's story "A Clean, Well-Lighted Place." And something about cleaning up and feeling organized that helps me feel purposeful, responsible, and enough of a busybody to bridge the transition from summer to fall, the early-falling darkness - in all of its romance and loneliness. It is a similar feeling to that of the older waiter in the story, who decides:

It is the light of course but it is necessary that the place be clean and light. You do not want music. Certainly you do not want music. Nor can you stand before a bar with dignity although that is all that is provided for these hours. What did he fear? It was not fear or dread. It was a nothing that he knew too well. It was all a nothing and a man was nothing too. It was only that and light was all it needed and a certain cleanness and order. Some lived in it and never felt it but he knew it was already nada y pues nada y pues nada. Our nada who art in nada, nada be thy name thy kingdom nada thy will be nada in nada as it is in nada. Give us this nada our daily nada and nada us our nada as we nada our nadas and nada us not into nada but deliver us from nada; pues nada. Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee.

I'm not sure that cleanliness, light, and order are sufficient enough for me to view all of life and faith unnecessary. But I do know that there are days when I wish faith were clean, well-lit, and neatly organized, even when I want my God to be unruly.