I Need to Make a List

At some point, I will most certainly post about my brave decision to keep my "PhD Watch" list up for all to see, despite my apparent lack of success in getting accepted, and how I am working on dealing productively and positively with rejection, and how I could either be embarrassed by my lack of success or proud of my perseverance. And I will definitely let you all in on my vocational processing as I begin to re-envision myself entering the call process this fall, instead of 3-5 years from now. But for the moment, while I'm thinking to myself, "I must either be VERY called to ministry and God's making it obvious, or else I'm just stupid," I think that I need to make a list. I need to remind myself that I really am good at some stuff in life. One of my friends made a list like this for me when I was in high school, right after my best friend and my super-serious crush started dating. It's just good to remind myself that I indeed have gifts and talents.

So, without further ado, Things Melissa is Good At:

1. Hrm. Grammar. The title of this list really should be "Things at which Melissa is Good." But that sounds bizarre.

2. Knitting. And I love it. And all of these thoughts about an alternate plan for my future make me remember that in my dream world, I would open up a yarn store/coffee shop. Knitting, caffeine, and (hopefully) making money? Sounds good to me!

3. Singing in church. And perhaps singing in general. And appreciating classical music, both choral and orchestral.

4. Cooking. And baking. I think that I believe I'm good at this in part because I'm fearless. I'll try anything. And I'll eat anything, too, which is good for those times that my adventures turn out less-than-perfect.

5. Giving hugs.

6. Playing Scrabble. (Ok, so I'm not quite as good at this as my husband is - he ALWAYS beat ms! - but in general, I think I'm an above-average Scrabble player.)

7. Public speaking. I'm such an introvert, but definitely love speaking in front of a crowd.

8. Wearing my geekiness with pride. Whether it be related to music, computers, video games, liturgy, theology, whatever. I know my geeky sides well, and fully embrace them.

9. Related to #8, I'm good at being a goofball. And, for the most part, I've gotten over fearing being a dork. It's nice to know that by 26, I've outgrown most of my junior high insecurity...

10. Random things: driving in the city, cleaning the apartment (which is a VERY different thing than keeping the apartment clean, something that I am NOT good at!), bargain-hunting, clipping Emme's claws, being introspective/self-aware, being a family-gal, being a Cubs fan...

All right. Back to finishing my coffee, squeezing in a bit more work before 5:30, and then going to the church's knitting circle. :)


  1. Anonymous11:15 AM

    You ARE brave for leaving the list up, but there is no shame in any of those rejections. The accept/reject process is way too unscientific to be taken as an accurate evaluation of your abilities. Good luck!

    -Long-time lurker

  2. My friend - I'm so sorry your PhD applications have turned out the way they have so far. I agree with Anonymous that the entire process is a crapshoot, but it's clear from reading your thoughts about theology for the past two years that they don't know what they're missing. Remember that God always has a plan.

    Regarding your list. Things you got wrong: not putting number 5 at the top, and not having "fantasy baseball" right underneath it.