things that make me want to cry

in this particular order:

1. my aunt, who has been in surgery all afternoon after a particularly scary past two weeks of heart problems.

2. the movie w;t (or "wit," depending on where you're looking), which is the most depressing movie i've ever seen, which starkly and simply depicts a 48-year old woman's lonely battle with cancer.

3. the fact that, in the time since i posted about the cruelity of comments made by Christians on Christian blogs, i've not only seen more of the same, but it actually seems that people have gotten even meaner. i'm amazed at what i've read in the comment threads both here and here. (i'm not totally innocent here, i admit. i have my own argumentative side, and it certainly shows through...but i hope that i always present myself with integrity instead of insult, especially when i get involved in more heated discussions.)


but here's the deal, as i see it:

in a world where there exist such crucial matters as life and death, peace and war, compassion, justice, genocide, hunger, brokenness, the need for healing...

why do we, as Christians, focus so much time and effort on arguing our side of the story? why do we care more about crafting the perfect insult or coming up with the wittiest way to reveal the arrogance of our opponents than we do about helping those in need?

numbers 1 and 2 make me want to cry because they deal with the weight of life and death. numbe 3 makes me cry, because insofar as i look to Christ as the healing balm, i find it morbidly ironic that we would rather debate controversy until we implode instead of pay attention to a hurting world that could really use words of Christian comfort from us.

if we can't model Christ to our fellow Christians, then how are we supposed to model it with any integrity for the rest of the world?