Lady in Waiting

It's amazing how I'm living someplace so close to my hometown, and yet I feel so far away from a sense of "home."

Sunday night, Matt and I hauled all of the rest of our things up to our apartment - we are officially living here now, not just bouncing back and forth between here and my parents' house as we finished up summer jobs and things. This is Matt's first full week of classes, and it's my free week between the end of CPE and the start of my orientation.

On Monday, I relished the newness. I wandered to a few local businesses to try to find a job, took the train down to the law school, where I ate lunch with Matt, wandered State Street and drank some fabulous tea at Argo while he was at class, and then spent the afternoon with him at the library before we wandered State Street some more to find dinner. It was a day for me to feel excited about learning my way around the city - learning my way around our neighborhood and claiming places as my own.

Yesterday was equally as fulfilling. I got up and did lots of laundry, and then went on a two-store grocery shopping excursion, which helped me to feel empowered as I drove around and realized that I am really getting to know parts of our neighborhood. I caught a glimpse of what it will be like when we have really settled down in the area. After that, I spent the afternoon reading, talking to my mom, and waiting for the UPS guy to come with our DSL modem.

This morning, however, I woke up feeling a little sick, and all of the sudden, it stopped feeling like home. That's how it is when you feel sick. You need everything to feel perfect, comfortable, and worn in. I love our new apartment (I promise that I'll post a few pictures when we're all cleaned up around here!), and I really am looking forward to getting to know the area and turn it into home, but on a morning like this, I am craving something - anything - familiar and well-worn.

Part of the weirdness of this morning is the knowledge that I am sitting around while Matt is in the middle of class. And they aren't kidding: law school is stressful! He has so much work to do everyday. And so a lot of what I'm doing these days is waiting and staying out of the way so that he can get done what he needs to get done. And waiting until I begin my own classes.

I am simply a lady in waiting these days: waiting for school, waiting for Matt, waiting for the apartment to feel like home, waiting for the neighborhood to feel like home...

I ask God to grant me the patience that I need.


  1. I can sincerely empathize with you, Melissa, in being the transients we are at a very transient age, it's sometimes wishful to think we'll ever finally find that comfortable "niche" again that we were so easily placed in by our parents. But now we're finding our own ways, our own sense of home and belonging.

    The only remedy I suppose is to tough it out, carving inch by inch our mark in this world in the form of interconnections with the people we care about.

    It's entirely heartwarming and comforting to know that good friends will be there en route, helping, teaching, and understanding.

  2. Hey kid - my RSS reader just exploded with your posts since Aug 21. Weird. So, you're still in school? What's up with that? Glad to hear you're settling in in Chicago. Enjoying hearing your thoughts on faith, as always!