I'm 25. Three months away from 26. And so on one level, I know that I am squarely in adulthood (even when I really really don't feel like I am!), living an "adult" life...having an apartment, food shopping and cooking for myself, taking care of a husband and a cat, navigating the city of Chicago, things like that...
I've been married now for two years, and I fully embraced the idea that I got married "young." Not crazy young, but on the young end of the spectrum. And so I've been living this adult-ish life feeling that I'm self-sufficient (mostly) but still young. A true post-college young adult. That at 25, my still being in school and career-less is totally acceptable. That at 25, many of my peers are still working post-college jobs and still working on finding careers. That at 25, many of my peers are still dating and not settled down yet (except for Dawn and Brian - yay for their engagement!!). And I was happy. 25, still feeling that it was ok to be young in life, still feeling that I was similar to my peers in terms of life situation.
And all it took was one advertisement for one dumb Lifetime "reality" special to ruin that for me.
They're producing a show where they interview a bunch of 25-year old women about love, life, and "having it all." Turns out that a lot of 25-year olds have real careers. And have houses. And children. Is this for real? Have I been fooling myself into believing that I am as mature and far along in life as other people my age? Should I be wanting a family right now? (Because...I don't. Not yet. I'm just not ready, not to mention the fact that we have no money...yay for student loans...) Should I have a career? (Because...I don't. And even though I'm still in school, and in a program that literally launches me into a career...well...I'm still so undecided on so many things...)
I now feel that at 25, I am actually behind instead of ahead of the game. Anyone else feeling this way?
You are not behind. Nor are you ahead. Because there is no behind or ahead. Comparisons are useless. Everyone lives their life at a different rate. I have friends who have known what they want from their life since they were five. And I know people who are grandparents who still haven't settled on a "career."
ReplyDeleteRelax. The Spirit seldom speaks through Lifetime shows. :) I for one am very impressed (and not at all surprised) to see what you've accomplished in your short, short 25 years so far.
andrew's comment put things in perspective.
ReplyDeleteBut, I too feel like I'm "behind" or, at least in a funky holding pattern. In May I'll have been out of seminary one year and I still don't have that "first call". But, I've learned a ton about serving working the service industry/corporate world for this past year.
Yet, friends are buying their houses, having babies, and starting to pay off their student loans. My envy sparks feelings of inadequacy or "feeling behind." I'm right with you girl.