Today is moving day for me. This is the fourth time I've moved into a new apartment in four years! Matt and I brought a bunch of stuff out to Rockford yesterday, to get a head start, but today is when my parents come with and when church people will be around to drop off things like bookshelves and a couch, and when the bed shows up. I won't be living there until later this upcoming week, but as of July 1, I am officially an intern!
I'm continuing my pattern of only being able to plan life one year at a time. When I graduated college, I wanted to be able to look 5+ years ahead and be able to envision where I'd be and what I'd be doing. Back then, it drove me crazy when I couldn't look that far ahead - I remember sitting with Matt on the Johns Hopkins' campus one evening during my second year in seminary, trying to plan out the next years: what I'd do when I graduated and how I'd bide the time until he'd finish his Ph.D...and then things changed. I had already moved all of my stuff down to Baltimore for the summer in order live with my husband for a few months - our first semester of being married, I was in Princeton, he was in Baltimre, and we were planning on doing the long-distance thing for that next schoolyear also (my last year in Princeton). But shortly after I got settled for the summer, he came to the realization that he didn't like his program and didn't want to continue it, and so at the end of the summer we moved EVERYTHING from the Baltimore apartment into CRW (PTS student housing) for my last year at Princeton. During that year, Matt applied to law schools in three cities that also had Lutheran seminaries, so it wasn't until May or so that we knew where we'd be heading for the upcoming schoolyear (my post-M.Div "Lutheran Year" that makes the ELCA love me so that they'll ordain me). Chicago it was.
And now, after another year, here I am, moving again. Here I am, having to live apart from Matt again. Here I am, unsure about what is in store for me post-internship. The nice thing, however, is that I have made peace with only planning ahead one year at a time, at least for the near future. I take comfort in knowing where I'm going to be tomorrow, and looking ahead at the next months, ready to face them instead of worrying about where they're leading. I'm all about planning a future, but I'm cool with talking in broad generalizations about the future instead of trying to get it all lined up right now. I know where I have to be today, and what I'm doing tomorrow, and for right now, that's all I need.
For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
So...time to shower, pack up a few last-minute items, and head out to Rockford. Time for a new adventure. In the words of a particular band that I like,
"Just when you think you're in control,
just when you think you've got a hold,
just when you get on a roll,
here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again." (OK Go, "Here it Goes Again")
And just because I love the video for that song....well...it's always worth watching again, right? Enjoy!