That Twinge of Self-Doubt

Ok...am I really at ALL qualified to apply to the schools on my list? Really? I'm trying to ask past profs to write me recommendations, and now that I'm composing those emails, I have this horrible picture of professors reading my emails, looking at the schools for which I want them to write recommendations, and either laughing or shaking their heads in disbelief. I am thoroughly afraid that I'm embarrassing myself by applying to these high-raked programs.

AND, now that I've been answering the question "so what are you up to these days?" with the response "I'm a pastoral intern right now, and I'm in the midst of applying to PhD programs," I think that I have a lot of people in my life just expecting that I'm going to apply to schools and go on to get the degree. What do I tell them if I don't get in anywhere??

So I'm DOUBLY worried right now about the schools that I'm applying to. Bah.

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